Life of a Graduate Teacher
As I was thinking about what I should write this weekend, I thought about all those notes I made for many different blogposts. This is from last year, by the way. However, in a year, all those notes have gone to the back of my mind as I have more important things to write about.
So, I am a kindergarten teacher and I teach 3 to 5 year old children mainly. When I first started the job, I was out of depth about how much effort and work needs to be put into this. I had amazing centre director (CD) and colleagues who guided me but I felt like I was not qualified for it. I have studied Masters in Education, majoring in Early Years. I have studied the curriculum and theories in child development, yet I felt unprepared for the position. I was new to town and I was still adjusting, which could have been a factor, still I was unprepared. My friend said I was just going through a phase of impostor syndrome, which is normal when you are going into your first job. It didn’t make me feel better.
I tried to focus on building a relationship with children, our kindergarten routine is usually flexible. I welcomed children to the classroom in the morning, it was December when I started taking charge, most children were well settled in the classroom already. However, I did not know what I was meant to be teaching, if they have learnt it before, or if they are going to get bored with me. We would have group time and it would have gone for 10 minutes at least. That was unfair for the children because these are 4 year olds, their attention span would have been 5 minutes at maximum. Half the time, it would become chaotic. Then, we would serve them morning tea and get them into play.
In the process of trying to keep other children safe from harm, I had been bitten, scratched and spat at me by some children. I was feeling like I was abused although I was trying hard to form bonds with those children. It was physically painful and emotionally exhausting. I spoke to my CD to understand them better. Some children obviously have had a difficult childhood and did not have their needs cup filled. I helped my CD organize the graduation for a group of children that I have barely ever taught. I felt guilty that I couldn’t make it special for them because I truly think it is a milestone for them to move from kindergarten to Prep Year.
Moving forward, the new year started, and I have my own group of children now. I have a set of beliefs from my own upbringing and based on my studies. When I was placed in the classroom, unfortunately, I fell back towards how I was brought up and how I was treated in school. I know my parents and teachers have done their best and I would call myself somewhat successful individual now. However, I think it wasn’t the best practice and I would usually project the same practice on to my children (my students). I call my students as my kids, which surprises a lot of people.
I was becoming exhausted trying to deal with children everyday and packing away after they have all left. I start at 8am and finish work at 4.30pm but usually left only at 6.30pm. My CD said I’d get burnt out eventually and true to her words, I have been feeling so. I was also struggling with documentations for my classroom. Last week of March, I went to Brisbane for a teacher conference. We had amazing speakers such as, Dr Louise Porter and Honorary Professor Alma Fleet on stage. It was refreshing and it was my wake up call.
I also met some other teachers around the Far North Queensland (FNQ) region. It was a relief to find out that there are more experienced teachers in the region who could guide me and other new teachers who are on the same boat as me. Those speakers in the conference were amazing because they were non-judgmental. They understood that it can be a struggle but it requires us to practice it consciously. Professor Fleet was amazing because she put her foot down and said we need to cut back on documents that have no benefit for the children. Just because it was a document that the last teacher did, it does not mean I need to complete it too. I need to critically reflect on the documents and work smart.
So, I came back to my classroom and have been feeling revitalized to bring the zen back. I have realized I am an old soul, so my documents are going to have to be handwritten, mainly children observation. Also, it doesn’t have to be the same format all the time. I am going to make work fun and exciting, almost like scrapbook making when I was young. I tried a different approach to handle children and I can see some positive changes in a week’s time.
I reflected that group time was too long for the children and I do not want to raise a generation of children of are silenced. So, I have told my children that they do not have to join group time in the morning if they do not feel like it, as long as they are engaged in play quietly as a form of respect for other in the classroom. I try to keep my group times to 5 minutes and have a few different ones in a day. Usually it would be in a form of storybook or when they are engaged in play and are curious about something. I would lead a group time with the information so they are more interested and focused. Group time routine is slowly working out and I am glad.
I am not going to do documents to just tick a box now, instead I am going to try to do holistic observations. I am limited by resources because I do not have a car to drive to places and prepare for things. I am trying my best to be a better teacher for the students and myself. I am passionate about what I do, I know this is my calling. Teachers are like wine, the older they get, they better the are, or so I hope. I also know teaching young children unfortunately a trial and error. I will learn together with these children and I will be a proud teacher.
So, I am a kindergarten teacher and I teach 3 to 5 year old children mainly. When I first started the job, I was out of depth about how much effort and work needs to be put into this. I had amazing centre director (CD) and colleagues who guided me but I felt like I was not qualified for it. I have studied Masters in Education, majoring in Early Years. I have studied the curriculum and theories in child development, yet I felt unprepared for the position. I was new to town and I was still adjusting, which could have been a factor, still I was unprepared. My friend said I was just going through a phase of impostor syndrome, which is normal when you are going into your first job. It didn’t make me feel better.
I tried to focus on building a relationship with children, our kindergarten routine is usually flexible. I welcomed children to the classroom in the morning, it was December when I started taking charge, most children were well settled in the classroom already. However, I did not know what I was meant to be teaching, if they have learnt it before, or if they are going to get bored with me. We would have group time and it would have gone for 10 minutes at least. That was unfair for the children because these are 4 year olds, their attention span would have been 5 minutes at maximum. Half the time, it would become chaotic. Then, we would serve them morning tea and get them into play.
In the process of trying to keep other children safe from harm, I had been bitten, scratched and spat at me by some children. I was feeling like I was abused although I was trying hard to form bonds with those children. It was physically painful and emotionally exhausting. I spoke to my CD to understand them better. Some children obviously have had a difficult childhood and did not have their needs cup filled. I helped my CD organize the graduation for a group of children that I have barely ever taught. I felt guilty that I couldn’t make it special for them because I truly think it is a milestone for them to move from kindergarten to Prep Year.
Moving forward, the new year started, and I have my own group of children now. I have a set of beliefs from my own upbringing and based on my studies. When I was placed in the classroom, unfortunately, I fell back towards how I was brought up and how I was treated in school. I know my parents and teachers have done their best and I would call myself somewhat successful individual now. However, I think it wasn’t the best practice and I would usually project the same practice on to my children (my students). I call my students as my kids, which surprises a lot of people.
I was becoming exhausted trying to deal with children everyday and packing away after they have all left. I start at 8am and finish work at 4.30pm but usually left only at 6.30pm. My CD said I’d get burnt out eventually and true to her words, I have been feeling so. I was also struggling with documentations for my classroom. Last week of March, I went to Brisbane for a teacher conference. We had amazing speakers such as, Dr Louise Porter and Honorary Professor Alma Fleet on stage. It was refreshing and it was my wake up call.
I also met some other teachers around the Far North Queensland (FNQ) region. It was a relief to find out that there are more experienced teachers in the region who could guide me and other new teachers who are on the same boat as me. Those speakers in the conference were amazing because they were non-judgmental. They understood that it can be a struggle but it requires us to practice it consciously. Professor Fleet was amazing because she put her foot down and said we need to cut back on documents that have no benefit for the children. Just because it was a document that the last teacher did, it does not mean I need to complete it too. I need to critically reflect on the documents and work smart.
So, I came back to my classroom and have been feeling revitalized to bring the zen back. I have realized I am an old soul, so my documents are going to have to be handwritten, mainly children observation. Also, it doesn’t have to be the same format all the time. I am going to make work fun and exciting, almost like scrapbook making when I was young. I tried a different approach to handle children and I can see some positive changes in a week’s time.
I reflected that group time was too long for the children and I do not want to raise a generation of children of are silenced. So, I have told my children that they do not have to join group time in the morning if they do not feel like it, as long as they are engaged in play quietly as a form of respect for other in the classroom. I try to keep my group times to 5 minutes and have a few different ones in a day. Usually it would be in a form of storybook or when they are engaged in play and are curious about something. I would lead a group time with the information so they are more interested and focused. Group time routine is slowly working out and I am glad.
I am not going to do documents to just tick a box now, instead I am going to try to do holistic observations. I am limited by resources because I do not have a car to drive to places and prepare for things. I am trying my best to be a better teacher for the students and myself. I am passionate about what I do, I know this is my calling. Teachers are like wine, the older they get, they better the are, or so I hope. I also know teaching young children unfortunately a trial and error. I will learn together with these children and I will be a proud teacher.
Comments
Post a Comment