Peace Offering: For Nhaveen & Previin
When I came to Australia, my mum packed pictures of Hindu God and Shirdi baba. I chose to bring a copy of my prayer book, with hopes that I never have to use it in the event of someone’s passing. Today I prayed in the name of Nhaveen and I really needed my release of emotions with regards to this matter.
I don’t remember the exact face of the boy, I remember his mother’s face clearly. They’d come over to my neighbour’s house and I used to think the boy’s mother is really pretty. Over time we shifted house and lost contact with some neighbours. Since I came to Brisbane, I haven’t been keeping track of events in Malaysia unless my mother updates me. I did save an article from Facebook about the boy in the hospital; however, I never got to read it. Then, the next day, my mother called me and told me about the boy. Neither could I recall the boy’s face nor his mother’s face.
I didn’t know who they were but I felt the boy’s pain. I felt so much anger on the culprits. Nhaveen could have just gone away to pursue his dream, he had his whole life laid out in front of him and for it to be taken away is just heartbreaking. I know the pain of losing someone precious and I am certain that the pain of losing a son is even more unbearable, especially for a single mother who had put in her sweat and blood to bring him up. It hurts that nowhere in between assaulting Nhaveen did the culprits’ stop and think about their future.
As a teacher, I feel utterly disappointed that bully cases were not handled well in schools. I have seen many of my students getting bullied when I was in the first year of my career because they were different. Similarly, in this case, Nhaveen was bullied for being different, for being him, for being musically inclined, for not being manly enough. The school should have handled the bully cases better. It would be unbelievable if the school denies any knowledge of such cases. I understand teachers have 30 to 40 students in a classroom and can’t give attention to everyone but someone was bound to have noticed something amiss. If he was failing in school, the school would have noticed it firsthand because it is so easy to look for. Data and statistics will let you know that but behaviour is communication, behaviour of someone speaks a thousand words. Are grades the only thing teachers are thinking when it comes to educating students? So, who is responsible for their behaviour? Oh yea, maybe parents of the accused are responsible? They definitely play an important role in a child’s life too but everyone else play a role too.
Now, everyone has started to point fingers and I even read an article that questioned why the mother of the victim didn’t bring up the matter since she knew it has been going on since he was 15. She just wanted her son to get on with life and finish his schooling, distance himself from trouble. Every motherly instinct would be to protect her family and nothing else. Being typical Asians, or should I say Indians, it has been instilled in us to only care about things if it concerns us or our family. I call it social responsibility; typical people call it ‘none of your business’. If I saw something bad happening to anyone around me, I’d get upset and do something about it. However, I used to get laughed at for stopping someone from even throwing rubbish in a public place. Personally, I would say the cause of his death is negligence. Negligence of many different people that resulted in the death of an innocent soul.
People have been posting pictures and live videos of the victim’s funeral on Facebook, it has been devastating to see all that tears and the way people keep posting things without consideration to the victim’s family. I have been filled with negativity the whole day and I can’t put into words how much it has affected me. I would prefer to leave the family to grieve in privacy of their loss, which the public fail to give. It is important to raise awareness and get justice for Nhaveen but we fail to be empathic and respect his family’s grief.
While we’re on this topic, I want to say that I would love to have a friend like Previin, someone to stand up for me and accept me for who I am. While keeping Nhaveen’s soul in prayers, it would be nice to still continue praying for Previin’s safety. I hope God gives him the strength to bear the news of Nhaveen’s passing. Obviously Previin is going to be guilt-ridden for calling out in the bullies but he did the right thing. He did what the rest of the society failed to do, he stood by what is right and I feel proud of him.
That’s just my way of expressing my distress and anger. I have made peace with the anger by offering prayers. However, where do we go from here? It is time we move away from ‘ignorance is bliss’ line and make an effort to report bully cases. Bullying leaves a big mark on everyone’s life and it shouldn’t end in death. We need to live up to the saying of ‘berani kerana benar, takut kerana salah’ that we’ve learnt endlessly in our moral lessons. Rise up and take action NOW!
I don’t remember the exact face of the boy, I remember his mother’s face clearly. They’d come over to my neighbour’s house and I used to think the boy’s mother is really pretty. Over time we shifted house and lost contact with some neighbours. Since I came to Brisbane, I haven’t been keeping track of events in Malaysia unless my mother updates me. I did save an article from Facebook about the boy in the hospital; however, I never got to read it. Then, the next day, my mother called me and told me about the boy. Neither could I recall the boy’s face nor his mother’s face.
I didn’t know who they were but I felt the boy’s pain. I felt so much anger on the culprits. Nhaveen could have just gone away to pursue his dream, he had his whole life laid out in front of him and for it to be taken away is just heartbreaking. I know the pain of losing someone precious and I am certain that the pain of losing a son is even more unbearable, especially for a single mother who had put in her sweat and blood to bring him up. It hurts that nowhere in between assaulting Nhaveen did the culprits’ stop and think about their future.
As a teacher, I feel utterly disappointed that bully cases were not handled well in schools. I have seen many of my students getting bullied when I was in the first year of my career because they were different. Similarly, in this case, Nhaveen was bullied for being different, for being him, for being musically inclined, for not being manly enough. The school should have handled the bully cases better. It would be unbelievable if the school denies any knowledge of such cases. I understand teachers have 30 to 40 students in a classroom and can’t give attention to everyone but someone was bound to have noticed something amiss. If he was failing in school, the school would have noticed it firsthand because it is so easy to look for. Data and statistics will let you know that but behaviour is communication, behaviour of someone speaks a thousand words. Are grades the only thing teachers are thinking when it comes to educating students? So, who is responsible for their behaviour? Oh yea, maybe parents of the accused are responsible? They definitely play an important role in a child’s life too but everyone else play a role too.
Now, everyone has started to point fingers and I even read an article that questioned why the mother of the victim didn’t bring up the matter since she knew it has been going on since he was 15. She just wanted her son to get on with life and finish his schooling, distance himself from trouble. Every motherly instinct would be to protect her family and nothing else. Being typical Asians, or should I say Indians, it has been instilled in us to only care about things if it concerns us or our family. I call it social responsibility; typical people call it ‘none of your business’. If I saw something bad happening to anyone around me, I’d get upset and do something about it. However, I used to get laughed at for stopping someone from even throwing rubbish in a public place. Personally, I would say the cause of his death is negligence. Negligence of many different people that resulted in the death of an innocent soul.
People have been posting pictures and live videos of the victim’s funeral on Facebook, it has been devastating to see all that tears and the way people keep posting things without consideration to the victim’s family. I have been filled with negativity the whole day and I can’t put into words how much it has affected me. I would prefer to leave the family to grieve in privacy of their loss, which the public fail to give. It is important to raise awareness and get justice for Nhaveen but we fail to be empathic and respect his family’s grief.
While we’re on this topic, I want to say that I would love to have a friend like Previin, someone to stand up for me and accept me for who I am. While keeping Nhaveen’s soul in prayers, it would be nice to still continue praying for Previin’s safety. I hope God gives him the strength to bear the news of Nhaveen’s passing. Obviously Previin is going to be guilt-ridden for calling out in the bullies but he did the right thing. He did what the rest of the society failed to do, he stood by what is right and I feel proud of him.
That’s just my way of expressing my distress and anger. I have made peace with the anger by offering prayers. However, where do we go from here? It is time we move away from ‘ignorance is bliss’ line and make an effort to report bully cases. Bullying leaves a big mark on everyone’s life and it shouldn’t end in death. We need to live up to the saying of ‘berani kerana benar, takut kerana salah’ that we’ve learnt endlessly in our moral lessons. Rise up and take action NOW!
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