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No, time does not heal anything!

I looked back at a blogpost I wrote 4 years ago when my uncle passed. I wrote about grief from losing my cousin and uncle. However, losing my brother 2 years ago has changed my perspective on a lot of things.  When I flew home to Malaysia, I already had more than 12 hours to collect my thoughts and emotions. I told myself that he is in a better place where he can’t feel pain anymore. He doesn’t have to go through the pressure of meeting people/society’s expectations anymore. By the time I saw my brother in a coffin, I did not shed a single tear. I was surprised that I did not cry. People around me were surprised too that I did not cry. I think I was in shock but I also knew that I had to stay focused and be there for my parents. My priority is my parents. We cremated my brother’s physical being, did a 16th day memorial service based on the Hindu religion. Over that two weeks, I have cried myself to sleep numerous times because I did not want to cry in front of people. After 3 weeks, I
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Scribbles from the past

As I move out of my current room in Mossman and into a new room near Wonga, I was going through all the things I have collected throughout the years. I came to Australia with 3 bags of clothes, 40 kgs worth of belongings and now I have collected so many unnecessary tokens along the way (most of them being storybooks and board games :D). I had to bid farewell to most of them. I found one token that I refuse to part with because it was truly a life changing experience for me. It was my mid-year QUT Big Lift trip to a few different towns near Darling Downs region in Queensland, Australia. Essentially, the goal is to serve the regional community in any way possible. I'd been to the short weekend trip to Cherbourg with QUT Big Lifters by then, so I knew some of the members. I wasn't too sure what to prepare for this 5-day journey however, I just winged it. I rocked up to the bus stop and felt a bit awkward because this was a larger group and I didn't know many of them. We were
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Memoirs of Kumi Anne

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On 19 April 1982, at 5.30am, a lovely couple, Murugiah and Pathamavathy were gifted with a beautiful soul in the form of a baby boy. He was brought to this world by the help of professionals at Ping Lok Clinic in Buntong, Perak. It was a bright sunny day, which could have only reflected on the beautiful journey the soul was going to take. He was about 5.5 pounds in weight, fair, too cute and quite literally a bundle of joy. He was named Kumarendran after our paternal great grandfather. He was fondly known as Kumi among as his cousins and Kumar or Qmar to his friends from alma mater, workplace and social media. He spent the majority of his childhood with his cousins in Penang, Ipoh and KL. He was also deeply loved and cared for by many, especially Mr & Mrs Kali Meenatchi and family, Mr & Mrs Kathiresan Saraswathi and family, Mr & Mrs Karuppiah Kalyani and family as well as many others. Some of the fondest memories of us with him include Sumathi citti tying a saree swin
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The Nature of Life: வாழ்க்கையின் இயல்பு

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ஜென்மம் நிறைந்தது சென்றவர் வாழ்க! சிந்தை கலங்கிட வந்தவர் வாழ்க! நீரில் மிதந்திடும் கண்களும் காய்க! நிம்மதி, நிம்மதி இவ்விடம் சூழ்க! Long live the person gone after completed his life Long live the person came with disturbed thoughts Let the moist eyes dry up Let peace, peace, circulate here ஜனனமும் பூமியில் புதியது இல்லை, மரணத்தைப் போலொரு பழையதும் இல்லை, இரண்டும் இல்லாவிடில் இயற்கையும் இல்லை, இயற்கையின் ஆணைதான் ஞானத்தின் எல்லை! Birth is nothing new on this earth There is nothing as old as death Nature is not here without them both Nature’s order is wisdom’s border பாசம் உலாவிய கண்களும் எங்கே? பாய்ந்து துளாவிய கைகளும் எங்கே? தேசம் அளாவிய கால்களும் எங்கே? தீ உண்டது என்றது சாம்பலுமிங்கே! Where are the affectionate eyes? Where are the searching hands? Where are the feet that measured the nation? Where are the ashes left by that devouring fire? கண்ணில் தெரிந்தது காற்றுடன் போக, மண்ணில் பிறந்தது மண்ணுடன் சேர்க, எலும்பு சதை கொண்ட உருவங்கள் போக, எச்சங்களால் அந
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Life of a Graduate Teacher

As I was thinking about what I should write this weekend, I thought about all those notes I made for many different blogposts. This is from last year, by the way. However, in a year, all those notes have gone to the back of my mind as I have more important things to write about. So, I am a kindergarten teacher and I teach 3 to 5 year old children mainly. When I first started the job, I was out of depth about how much effort and work needs to be put into this. I had amazing centre director (CD) and colleagues who guided me but I felt like I was not qualified for it. I have studied Masters in Education, majoring in Early Years. I have studied the curriculum and theories in child development, yet I felt unprepared for the position. I was new to town and I was still adjusting, which could have been a factor, still I was unprepared. My friend said I was just going through a phase of impostor syndrome, which is normal when you are going into your first job. It didn’t make me feel better.
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A Year in a Glance

Its’s been exactly a year since I last posted on my blog. Life has been hectic and busy, with many ongoing changes. For those of you who don’t know where I am now, I am no longer studying my postgraduate in Brisbane. I have graduated from university and went back home for 3 months. Only because I couldn’t find a job in Australia after my graduation. I had the most amazing 3 months with my parents although it was filled with uncertainty because I was jobless and had to rely on my parents for most things. Eventually I landed a job in a small town called Mossman in Far North Queensland. When I had a Skype interview for the position, they asked me what I like to do to during my free time. I answered that I like the nature, so maybe walking around nature or along the beaches. They told me, oh I’ll love it here because Mossman is exactly that. I was excited and nervous to start off at a new place again, trying to make friends and get hold of my homesickness. People would think by now I
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Time heals the wound?!

We are at that moment in life where we must have experienced grief at least once in our life. Losing a loved one can be an extreme pain whether to a natural cause, sudden occurrence or to leave by choice. What is more difficult is, trying to live life they never had the chance to live and to process the pain. People grieve in different ways and people understand grief in different ways. Personally, I never understood the pain till I saw my precious one going through so much of pain just to live one more day of her life. I have lost a cousin and an aunt when I was young. I had amazing moments with them but I was too young to remember the pain. Not to say losing them was easy, I cried but I also had little memories with them. The problem with grief is that, the more you know the person, the more it impacts you. The deeper the wound is, the longer it takes for the wound to heal. Did I say heal? No, the wound doesn’t heal. The wound stays on, there will never be a scar because the
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